Words

My head is thumping like the drum of a heavy metal band.
Words envelop my thoughts.
Words you have said.
Words he said.
Words from the past that cut me like a blunt knife; deep and painful.
It’s funny the words that stuck. The words we chose to remember.
It’s never when someone looks deeply into your eyes, love burning into your soul as they tell you how wonderful you are. 
No, you don’t remember the words we should.
Instead we remember the hateful words.
The blame. The destruction. The pain.
This is what sicks in and buries itself into our brain.
One person could say you are beautiful a hundreds times, and ugly once; yet, it would be that one word you would carry around as your burden.
Maybe it is easy to agree with the hate, then to look at yourself and admit to the love that has been shared.
Hateful, disgusting words are what fill my brain these days. 
Words I can’t seem to shake off.
So, my head continues thumping.
Thud, thud, thud, thud.
Will it ever stop.
Thud, thud, thud.
Will the pain leave me in peace.
Thud, thud.
Can’t I be left alone.
Thud.